Lukewarm waters…

Last week, I decided to continue my blog in Turkish. I thought noone was reading it, so I wanted to make it easier on myself. So why am I writing if noone is reading huh?? Well, I kept journals when I was in high school, that noone ever read… I actually write deeper when there is not an audience. Anyway, then a non-Turkish speaker good friend of mine sent me an email this week, telling me that she read my last entry, and that she really liked it… so here we go again, continuing in English. I apologize for the countless grammar and spelling errors, when I don’t write in my native language, I feel like I sound like an 8 year old. I also just don’t have the time to proof read anything. I appreciate any feedback though, if you see anything that is out of place let me know. If you can make sense of it, just don’t bother and keep on reading…

Most of you have been wondering and asking about my mother’s health. Thank you all so very much for your support and well wishes. I guess I am one of those who say things as it is. But it took a while for me to come to terms with her situation. It has been about 3+ months and I guess right now I am more level headed about it. I guess time helps all even getting used to living with cancer.

Here’s the technical stuff as it is. It’s lukewarm news for us… there are good news… then we have some bad news… Mom responded very well to first 2 rounds of chemo. She also had a gamma knife procedure on a brain tumor. That tumor is gone altogether… So technically that might now bring her cancer stage to IIIb I guess. (it was stage 4) I am not a doctor but I like to think about it that way. The primary tumor in her lung is reduced in half after the first 2 rounds. It’s about 2cm now. -such a small but strong enemy in her beautiful body-. However, we didn’t get the same response to chemo #3 and #4. It’s still the same, not smaller… but not bigger either… Her doctor stopped chemo for now, and now she in on a cancer drug… a new amazing pill, that costs a fortune, yet again, our hope for a cure…

On the emotional side of things, we had a few tears this week. We are now experts at reading MRI reports, and we can even make sense of the medical terms… Mom always felt good about her treatment, stayed very strong and didn’t get that much affected by chemo. She was tired for 2-3 days, then she was up on her feet running after 2 very active toddlers. Feeding, changing diapers, waking up at 5am to fix breakfast and just being a wonderful grandmother… After this week’s sour news, she has slowed down a bit for about eerrr.. one day…

We no longer have our babysitter to help us. She is back to school and of course there is no room for feeling sorry for ourselves. Life goes on in this house… M & A wake up like clockwork at 7, they like to chit chat and exchange toys while sitting in there crib, but they are ready for breakfast at 8:00 By 8:30 we have 2 very messy toddlers who need to be diaper changed, hands and face washed. We also place them in their playpen with much rejection so we can clean up the olives, feta cheese, numerous forms of bread (chewed, half chewed, split), and pieces of fruit from the floor. While do the dishes and they are screaming to be rescued from the playpen. By 9:00 they are running around the house like crazy. “Don’t touch that”… “no… no.. nooo, that’s grandpa’s laptop”… A likes to run around with a whole garlic in his hand he also likes to get a few bites from it. While M likes to push her tricycle in the house with her stuffed bunny sitting on the saddle. By 9:30 we are pretty tired.. but it goes on like this with a few diapers to clean with a few snacks, a few rounds of playing music, clapping hands, dancing, reading books etc. By 10 we have milk and it’s time for a morning nap…

I am not going to continue with the afternoon routine… but we have a very busy 7am-8pm schedule. Our employers are very strict, no error is excused, they are specific about their meals, and they are very demanding about their wants and needs!

Shortly, I continue to be a full time mother and grandma continues to be the queen bee. She is here and and after a while we don’t care about what’s going on in her body. M&A love to touch her bold head and they try to even comb the few fuzzy hairs on there. For them she is just grandma, who spoils them rotten… and for now that’s how we like it to be…



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